It's ladies' night tonight at Icon. I'm supposed to be making a playlist. So far, it includes "Chiquitita" by ABBA, "We Love Dese Hos," (Outkast) "Dirty Girl" (Atomoshere!), and "Big Mouthed Woman" (oh, Johnny). Perhaps I'm missing the point?
I have, however, added "Jessie's Girl" by the inimitable (ok, imitable) Rick Springfield. That's positive, right?
I'm really not looking forward to making condom and blowjob shots all night. Condom shot: Sambuca topped with a layer of Baileys. Push your finger down into the Baileys and it pokes into the clear Sambuca and looks a bit like a condom. Hilarious, non? Blowjob shot: something, something, something, and whipped cream on top (can you feel my enthusiasm?). You take it with no hands. You get whipped cream on your face. The entire bar, presumably, collapses in shrieks and giggles. Stern--dare we say bitchy?--bartender frowns, smashes beer can against forehead.
Oh, hell. I don't know who I think I'm kidding: by the time I start doing it, I'll think it's silly fun, as usual.
But I'm definitely going to make myself a pin that reads "I'd rather be protesting."