Wore two pairs of tights to walk two blocks,
Drank half a liter of beer in about two minutes,
Lost a beer drinking contest, but
Gained a very eager (prospective) (dermatologist) Turkish bridegroom,
Learned the saying "When Turkish people were born, Chechens cried,"
Toasted that saying, despite (still) not knowing what it meant,
Learned the saying "When Tatars were born, Jews cried,"
Didn't quite learn what that meant, either,
Didn't finish a plate of chechil, for the first time,
Drank to the death of Paul Walker with a bunch of Kazakhstani Fast and Furious fans, and still
Got home by midnight.